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She tried to play hard to get, but it wasn’t long before all her defenses were broken down. “And I couldn’t bring myself to push him away and walk out.” Power-play in sex, even with some mild pain, isn’t as rare a taste as you might guess.When Evelyn asked Mark how often he succeeded in his dominating overtures, he said that about half of the women walked out the door immediately, while the others, like Evelyn, succumbed."Two months ago, I received a message from a guy I’d messaged first. Because I was going away for a week, we had a lot of back and forth before we eventually met.He seemed kind and interesting; we spoke about everything from family to feminism by way of film.
Submitting to a spanking shouldn’t make you less assertive (or pushy) with your boss or husband—nor resolve any real-life power struggles, says San Francisco sex therapist Linda Alperstein. D., and like Evelyn, people often say it makes them “high.” As Liz, 51, puts it, submission “makes me feel incredibly alive.” One experience she recalls as “the most freeing moment of my life.I immediately regretted the words.“Why would I do that? Although what he really meant was, “What the hell is wrong with you?” I couldn’t answer the question he asked or the question he meant to ask, so I just stayed quiet as he explained why I should start going to therapy twice a week instead of once.Most attractively, he presented himself as a man seeking something that abolished longstanding gender roles.I’m a busy woman and relationships aren’t for me, so when we eventually met for dinner, we went back to his house, had sex and I snuck out at 6am.
If your feminist hackles are rising, it helps to know that men are into submission fantasies, too.